people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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