I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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