I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i think my cat just said my name.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
