I feel like I'm in dance class right now
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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