Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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