Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
