I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.