Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby