im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate