Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy