Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"