Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
