So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
