just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I need a hoe opinion
go on
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
