garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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