your parents love me but you hate me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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