Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
