I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
