So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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