Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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