tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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