is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
