i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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