And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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