Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
