Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
