Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if only i could text you this smell
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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