Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize