we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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