All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
