whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
