That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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