She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
