People with herpes should wear stickers.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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