Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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