That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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