TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize