Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
