Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
