It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
