and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
