He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
