Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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