ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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