I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i drank out of a bidet.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
