Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?

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(330): View more from Ohio

literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.

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(801): View more from Utah

Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"

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(361): View more from Texas

There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.

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(310): View more from California

Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself

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(631): View more from New York

I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!

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(513): View more from Ohio

THIS THING HATES MY LIVER

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(512): View more from Texas

However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.

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