He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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