hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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