Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
