so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
