Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.