So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.