I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?