my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You left your phone here
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