? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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