Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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