Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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