its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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