I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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