Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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