I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
