No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
