i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!