That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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