You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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