Where did you get a picture of my penis
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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