We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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